Clutching at Straws

Issue 3: Once upon a pirate

1. The cover. Rex, now bearded and scowling, holds a beer. Walker, Sydney and Zak stand behind him. The title reads 'Clutching at Straws #3: Once upon a pirate'.
1. The title page. Narration: “Clutching at Straws. Issue 3: Once upon a pirate. Pencils, colours, inks & letters: Paul Spencer. Edited by: Aaron Angel. Created by: Paul Spencer, Aaron Angel, Ryan Abrahams. For more comics, visit: www.guardiancomics.com”
1. A sunny main street. Far off, a red-haired woman with a flower in her hair and her friend are putting up posters. Abbie: “There!”
2. A hand smooths an audition poster onto a pole. Abbie: “The last poster is up. It took us all day, but we did it!”
3. Abbie beams. Her friend nods. Abbie: “The city is now stamped with our audition posters.” Sound effect: Nod
4. A bald man with a moustache barges past Abbie. Abbie: “We'll be sure to have a great reception for our show --” Sound effect: Barge! Poster man: “'Scuse me sugar lips.”
5. The man slaps a band poster over theirs. Abbie shouts: “Hey, jerkface! I just put that up.” Sound effect: Slap! Poster man: “Just doing my job, lady. Band starts at eight and rocks 'till late.” Poster man: “Show those pretty legs and you may get in for free.”
6. Abbie fumes. Her friend points down the street. Abbie: “Can you believe that guy?” Trent: “Uhhh, Abbie... you may want to take a look at this...”
7. Every one of their posters along the street has been covered. Abbie: “All of our posters... gone!” Abbie shouts: “Aaaaaaagggghh!”
1. Meanwhile, an old man in a newspaper hat presses the button at a pedestrian crossing. Narration: “Meanwhile...” Sound effect: Click
2. The old man smiles patiently.
3. The walk signal turns green. Sound effect: Ding
4. The old man looks left. Old man: “Look left.”
5. The old man looks right. Old man: “Look right.”
6. His sandalled foot steps off the kerb. Sound effect: Step
7. Zak and Walker roar past on a pink scooter, spinning the old man round. Walker shouts: “Zaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!” Sound effect: Vroooom
8. The old man sits dazed on the crossing, his walking stick beside him.
1. Zak, in goggles, rides the scooter as Walker clings on behind. Walker: “You crazy sum'bitch! Slow down, would you?”
2. Zak brakes hard at the kerb. Zak: “You got it, chump.” Sound effect: Screeeeeach
3. Walker flies over the handlebars. Walker shouts: “Yaaaaaaaahhhh”
4. Walker smacks face first into a front door. Sound effect: Ooofff! Sound effect: Ding dong
5. Walker lies on the doorstep. Zak strolls up. Walker: “You never do things by halves, do you Zak?”
1. Rex, now bearded and scruffy, opens the door. Rex: “Oh... you guys.” Walker: “Rex! Uh, you're... looking...” Walker: “Something...”
2. Zak smirks. Rex scowls. Zak: “Walker's trying to tell you, you look like shit.” Walker: “Well... you have let yourself go.”
3. Inside, Zak throws his arms wide at the messy house. Rex rubs his face. Zak: “It looks like you're a hobo squatting in a classier man's abode.” Zak shouts: “Look!” Walker: “Why don't you go clean up or something?”
4. Rex slumps on the couch among chip packets. Rex: “I really want to be by myself at the moment, so...”
1. Walker whispers to Zak. Walker: “Ok, what exactly has happened here? What the shit has happened to Rex?” Zak: “I dunno, Sydney just said it was an emergency and we should come right away.”
2. Zak grins at Sydney. Sydney: “And it's a good thing you did! I'm about to lose my shit here baby sitting this sad sack.” Zak shouts: “Sydney!”
3. Rex sits on the couch as the others look on from the kitchen. Sydney: “He just sits there all day, watching Lost.”
4. Rex on the couch. Narration: “What started out as a late night marathon...”
5. Rex on the couch, stubbled, among food wrappers. Narration: “Became three days...”
6. Rex on the couch, bearded, among pizza boxes. Narration: “And then a week...”
7. Rex on the couch, bleary-eyed, surrounded by rubbish. Narration: “Once he finishes it's back to season one, episode one.”
1. Zak shrugs at Sydney. Sydney: “I swear to God, if I see John Locke's moobs one more time, I'm going to fork a toaster.” Zak: “Hey! What do you have against moobs?”
2. Rex waves from the couch. Walker peers in. Rex: “Gonna take a nap. There's some pizza in some of these boxes. Help yourselves if you want.” Walker: “Eh, I'm good.”
3. Zak shrugs happily. Zak: “Well, since you're offering... free is free.”
4. Walker points at Rex. Walker: “Rex, we're worried about you. Why don't you go clean yourself up and we'll go see a movie or something.” Rex: “Can't. Got fired. Never allowed back.”
5. Walker turns to Sydney. Walker: “He was fired from the cinemas? How did that happen?” Sydney: “Your guess is as good as mine.”
6. Rex lies asleep on a pile of rags in the cinema projection booth. Sydney: “All I know is, I was called to collect him at the cinema complex after he was found sleeping in a pile of projector wiping rags.” Sydney: “It was kind of pathetic.”
1. Zak smiles. Rex shouts. Zak: “Rex, pal. Why don't we ditch these losers and just you and me go out to a strip club or something?” Zak: “You know. Relax.” Rex shouts: “Guys!”
2. Rex turns on Walker. Rex shouts: “I'm not kidding around here, leave me alone. I don't want to see you right now!” Walker: “Woah, we're just trying to help, you don't have to be a dick about it.”
3. Rex rants at Walker. Rex shouts: “God! You're truly a couple of assholes aren't you? Do I have to spell it out for you?” Rex: “I'm sick of hanging out with you guys.” Walker: “Since when? We've been friends over ten years.” Rex shouts: “Exactly and look at us. We're the same people we were, all those years ago. None of us have changed. None of us have grown.” Walker: “It's not our fault if you aren't satisfied with yourself.”
4. Walker points at Rex. Rex: “If you say so.” Walker: “If you have something to say, out with it!”
5. Close up of Rex, eyes down. Rex: “You've held me back.”
6. Walker, stunned. Walker: “Wow, man. Just... wow!”
1. Walker throws up a hand. Walker: “Good luck with your life. I'm out!”
2. The front door slams behind Walker. Rex scowls; Zak and Sydney watch. Sound effect: Slam! Rex: “Finally.”
3. Rex jabs a finger at Zak, who holds a slice of pizza. Rex: “How about you, porky. You gonna leave as well?” Zak: “Someone once told me, you stand by your friends. No matter what.”
4. Rex grabs his jacket. Rex: “Whatever, fine. Stay here. I'll go.”
5. Zak stands holding his pizza.
6. Sydney looks at Zak.
7. Sydney closes her eyes, unimpressed. Sydney: “Smooth.”
1. Outside a pub, The Generous Neighbour, at night. Abbie: “I can't believe I spent all day putting up posters --”
2. Abbie sits in a booth with a dark-haired man (Trent) and a blond man in a bow tie (Blake). Abbie: “-- for nothing!” Abbie: “If we don't find a guy to play Franklin in our show, we're finished!”
3. Abbie and Blake slump. Abbie: “Why is it so hard to find guys in musical theatre.” Blake: “Why is it so hard to find guys, period?”
4. Kylie with a martini raises her glass. Kylie: “I know you're both a bit tired and cranky, but tonight is about taking all your woes and leaving them at the door.”
5. Kylie leans over the booth; Blake grins. Kylie: “Now shut up and help me check out the hot guys. Woof!” Blake: “That I can do!”
1. Trent stands from the booth. Trent: “I'm going to put us down for a duet, Abbie. We're going to blast the walls off this karaoke bar!” Abbie: “Fine. Whatever!”
2. Rex bumps into Trent, spilling beer down him. Sound effect: Spill
3. Trent shouts at Rex as the bar watches. Trent shouts: “You buffoon!” Trent: “You've spilled your cheap, nasty beer all over my D and G! This is vintage!” Rex shouts: “Hey, Bobo!” Rex: “You bumped into me! Howsh sbout watching where you's going. Ash-hole!”
4. Close up of Trent, outraged. Trent: “Yo--you! How dare you. I demand... dry.. cleaning!”
5. Abbie and Blake watch nervously. Abbie: “Oh no. Trent is terrible with confrontations. Get ready with the mace if things get ugly.”
1. Rex sneers at Trent, who stammers. Rex: “Dry cleaning? I've seen clown suits at the costume shop for... five dollarsh. I'm spending my money on beersh.” Trent shouts: “Cl-- cl-- clown suit??”
2. Rex walks off, swigging his beer, past Trent's clenched fist. Rex: “'Nyway. Gonna getsh maa beer. Maybe watch your-shelf where you'sh going next shtime.”
3. Abbie and Blake fuss over Trent. Abbie: “Are you OK?” Blake: “Way to stick up for yourself. That was brutal!” Trent: “Please. Don't talk to me for a minute, I need to process what just happened.”
4. Trent and Abbie in the booth. Trent: “He thought I was a clown.” Blond man: “Bobo is a clown's name. I just made the connection.” Abbie: “He's a loser. He's drunk. These things don't mix.”
5. Trent stands and reaches over two startled men for a shot glass. Patron: “Hey!” Trent: “Who does he think he is? Does he think he can spill a drink all over me, insult me and then walk away?”
6. Trent downs the shot as Abbie watches, worried. Trent shouts: “Oh no!” Abbie: “What are you going to do?”
7. Trent slams the glass down. Trent shouts: “I'm going to fight him!”
1. Moments later, under the stage lights, a host in an afro and shutter shades throws up his arms to a packed crowd. Narration: “Moments later...” Host: “You've all come for one reason and one reason only.” Host shouts: “Karaoke off!!”
2. The host grins into his microphone. Host: “In an epic clash of melodic proportions, we have our challenger.”
3. Trent sits on a chair on stage, the blond man's hands on his shoulders. Host: “The talented, the tantelizing, the tenacious; Trent!”
4. The host pushes Rex back with an outstretched arm. Host: “Rivelling him today is... funk-daddy-liscious lady pleaser; Rex.” Rex: “You'sh forgot to say courageous and lion hearted.” Host: “No, I didn't forget. Back to your corner, beer breath!”
1. The host holds up Trent's jacket. Host: “The stakes: loser collects the dry cleaning on said D and G jacket.” Trent: “It's vintage!”
2. Close up of the host's mouth at the microphone. Host shouts: “Are you ready!?”
3. Abbie folds her arms. Blake punches the air. Abbie: “I can't help but feel there's an easier way of doing this.” Blake: “Probably, but half as exciting.” Blake shouts: “Go Trent!”
4. Trent alone on the lit dance floor.
5. Trent sings and points to the sky, disco style. Trent: “♪ Trent sings Stayin' Alive. ♪”
6. The host, amazed. Host: “Woah! Trent is John Travolta incarnate with those boogie steps.”
7. A woman in the crowd squeals. Fan shouts: “We love Trent!!”
8. A blonde woman smiles. Blonde woman: “Nice!”
9. A man nods, impressed. Patron: “I'll give it to him. The man can boogie!”
10. A freckled redhead stares. Redhead: “His form is perfection.”
11. Trent drops to one knee and points at Rex. Host: “A challenge has been made. But the question remains --”
12. Rex looks up from his beer. Host: “-- does the newcomer have what it takes?”
1. Rex shrugs off his jacket.
2. A foot kicks the smoke machine. Sound effect: Kick
3. Smoke fills the stage around Rex's silhouette. Rex: “♪ Rex begins Livin' on a Prayer. ♪”
4. Rex belts the song into the microphone. The host is stunned. Rex: “♪ Rex sings Livin' on a Prayer. ♪” Host shouts: “Woooah! Livin' on a prayer!”
5. The crowd cheers and sings along.
6. Abbie, the blond man and a woman stare, open mouthed. Abbie: “Woah!”
7. Rex turns to Trent, looking queasy. Rex: “...”
8. Rex vomits all over Trent. Sound effect: Yaaarr!
1. The crowd gasps. Sound effect: Gasp gasp gasp
2. Trent stands covered in vomit beside the host and Rex. Host: “Uhhh..”
3. The host raises Trent's arm. Host: “I guess we have a winner.”
4. Trent shoves his face into Rex's. Trent: “What the shit!?” Trent: “Dry cleaning...”
5. Trent holds out his dripping arms. Trent: “For all this.”
6. Rex holds up a hand. Rex: “Uhhh. Mershy shtreet. Here'sh the thing...”
7. Rex pulls out his empty pockets. Rex: “I'm kind of a tiny, little bit... broke.” Trent whispers: “Why does that not surprise me?!” Rex: “My last money's bought the beers you're wearing...”
8. Abbie steps in front of Trent. Trent: “What do you mea --” Abbie: “There is one way you can repay us.”
1. Abbie folds her arms. Rex rubs his head. Trent: “Abbie, what are you--” Rex: “I'm lishening, pretty lady.”
2. Abbie glares. Abbie: “Tomorrow night, we have auditions for a musical.” Abbie: “You're going to be there.” Rex: “Huh? You'sh kiddin, right?!”
3. Abbie points at Trent's ruined clothes. Abbie shouts: “Look! You owe Trent, look at what you've done to his clothes! It's the least you could do.” Trent: “The very least.”
4. Rex swigs his beer. Rex: “Uh'm shorry 'bout your clothes, but I'm not doing any of what you'sh just said.”
5. Abbie presses a card into Rex's hand. Abbie: “And come sober, or not at all!”
6. Trent scowls as Rex walks off, drinking. Trent: “Asshole.” Rex: “Ash-hole.”
1. Zak and Walker sit on the couch either side of a dummy Rex: a bucket head on a broom handle, in a black t-shirt.
2. Zak turns to Walker. Zak: “Walker, can we stop being angry at Rex yet? This one is boring.” Walker: “Really? I kinda like this one better. This Rex isn't an asshole.”
3. Zak raises a finger. Zak: “Maybe we should play Lost for Rex.”
4. Walker glares. Zak is horrified. Walker: “Put Lost on and I will torch your vintage porn with a molotov.” Zak: “You wouldn't!”
5. Zak and Walker sit in silence beside the dummy.
6. Zak hugs the dummy. Sound effect: Hug
1. The city at night.
2. Rex walks alone down a dark street.
3. Rex stops outside a cathedral, holding Abbie's card.
4. The card shows a theatre.
5. Close up of Rex, thinking.
6. An art deco theatre under the moon.
7. Rex holds the card up against the theatre. It's the same building.
8. Rex sighs. Sound effect: Sigh
1. Rex peers in through a door. Rex: “Uh... hello?”
2. Trent glares from the stage. Two others lounge behind him. Sound effect: Glare
3. Rex shrugs at Abbie. Rex: “Where is everyone? I thought this was auditions? Am I early?” Abbie: “No, you're late.” Abbie: “You're also the only one who showed.”
4. Abbie shakes Rex's hand. Abbie: “Congratulations --” Abbie: “-- you just got the role.”
5. Rex throws up his hands. Rex shouts: “What?!” Rex: “But I've never acted before! How can you just give me the role? There's plenty of guys here, let them do it!”
6. Abbie points at each of the cast in turn. Trent scowls. Abbie: “Baritone.” Abbie: “Bass.” Abbie: “Soprano.” Soprano: “I'm a girl, asshole!” Abbie: “Baritone.” Abbie: “We need a tenor.”
1. Abbie counts on her fingers. Abbie: “From what I heard last night, that's you.”
2. Rex holds up his hands. Rex: “Uh-uh. No way. I'm not going down this rabbit hole.” Rex: “I'm sorry, I feel bad about last night, honestly I do, but...”
3. Rex turns away, head down. Rex: “--there's no way I'm doing this.”
4. Rex walks out across the hall as Abbie and Trent watch.
5. Rex's hand on the door handle. Abbie: “What are you running away from?”
6. Rex looks back over his shoulder. Rex: “Excuse me?”
7. Abbie stands with her hands on her hips. Abbie: “I was watching you last night...”
1. Abbie walks towards Rex. Abbie: “Swaggering around the bar, hitting on girls, getting rejected.”
2. Abbie circles Rex, one side and then the other. Abbie: “I thought to myself: here's a guy who's going nowhere.” Abbie: “Here's a guy who's lost.”
3. Abbie smiles, eyes closed. Abbie: “And then... you sang.”
4. Rex rubs his neck as Abbie reaches out to him. Abbie: “In an instant, you transformed from the dirty ruffian standing before us to someone else.” Abbie: “Someone better.”
5. An actor in a striped shirt sits on the stage beside Trent. Actor: “Right up until you threw up all over Trent.” Trent: “Don't go there. It's too soon.” Abbie: “So what's it going to be, cowboy?”
6. Abbie looks up at Rex. Abbie: “Are you going to continue being a jerk, spending your time singing drunk in cheap bars?” Abbie: “Or how about trying some different boots on and seeing how they feel?”
7. Rex smiles. Rex: “If I do this, will you continue with the cowboy metaphors?”
8. Abbie and Rex walk off across the stage. Rex: “Because I've got to tell you... It's really doing it for me.” Abbie: “Let's mosey, stranger. We've a lot to cover.”
9. Sydney, in a hood, waves through a window. Sydney: “Zak. Walker.” Sydney: “I know where Rex is.”
1. Rehearsals: the actor reads his lines, a woman cuts Rex's hair and Trent leans against the wall. Sydney: “I've known for almost three months now.”
2. Rex carries timber as the crew build the set. Sydney: “I wanted to tell you, but honestly I've been a little weirded out by how much you've been missing him.” Sydney: “Even if you can't admit it with words, Walker.”
3. Blake, now in a pink shirt, Rex with a script, and Abbie in a green dress. Sydney: “I guess I thought if I told you where he was and what he's been doing, you'd try and interfere.”
4. Rex, clean shaven, gives a thumbs up as Abbie holds up an 'Opening night!' poster. Sydney: “From what I've seen he's doing better than he has in a long time.” Sydney: “Now don't flip out.” Sydney: “He's been hanging out with thespians.”
1. Sydney points at the boys. Sydney: “It seems they're putting together a musical. I think we should be there, to support him.”
2. Zak raises a hand. The dummy Rex, now in a party hat and lei, sits between him and Walker. Zak: “I only have one question.” Zak: “Is a thespian anything like a lesbian.”
3. Walker gets up from the couch. Walker: “Thespian is just another name for actor.”
4. Walker jabs a thumb. Walker: “The fact that he's become one is fitting, considering our entire friendship was an act!” Walker: “I suspect his opening performance will be spectacular!”
5. Rex stands in the doorway. Rex: “I deserve that.”
6. Walker, Sydney and Zak turn to the door. Zak shouts: “Rex!”
7. Rex holds out a hand. Rex: “But Walker, you don't honestly believe our friendship was an act, do you?”
1. Walker points at Rex. Walker: “What's not to believe? You ditched us the first chance you could get.” Walker: “Scalp my ticket to a hobo for all I care.” Walker: “You're dead to me.”
2. Zak grins over the back of the couch. Zak: “Ooh, I know a hobo we could invite.” Zak: “He's nice.”
3. Rex spreads his hands. Rex: “I'm sorry I've not been around.” Rex: “I've been busy putting the show together.”
4. Walker, stony faced, as Rex reaches into his pocket. Rex: “The last time we spoke, I wasn't in a good place.” Rex: “I actually have something for you all--” Walker: “I'm not listening to another word of this.”
5. Walker turns his back on Rex. Walker: “You've been incommunicado for near three months now.” Walker: “We're actually better off without you.”
6. Rex looks down at the tickets in his hand.
7. Rex nods, hurt. Rex: “Right, yeah, OK... of course.” Rex: “I understand.”
1. Rex leaves the tickets on the hall table.
2. The tickets on the table.
3. Sydney calls after Rex. Walker stops her. Sydney: “Rex, don't go.” Walker: “Let him go.”
4. Sydney picks up the tickets.
5. Sydney fans out the tickets. Sydney: “Three tickets.”
6. Sydney turns to the boys. Sydney: “These are for tonights performance, opening night. Good seats.”
7. Close up of Sydney, determined. Sydney shouts: “I'm going!”
1. Zak holds up a ticket beside Sydney. Zak: “Me too.”
2. Sydney and Zak turn to Walker, who stands with his hands on his hips. Sydney: “And you, Walker?”
3. Walker shakes his head. Walker: “I'm sorry, but no.” Walker: “He made his bed.”
4. Zak holds out his ticket. Zak: “Walker, this is an apology.”
5. Sydney, pleading. Sydney: “Rex has made good.” Sydney: “Why can't you?”
6. Sydney puts a hand on Walker's shoulder. He folds his arms. Walker: “I.. I just...” Walker: “I know I should... but I just can't bring myself to.” Walker: “I don't know why...” Sydney: “This isn't even about Rex, is it?” Sydney: “It's about you!”
1. Walker shrugs Sydney off. Walker: “I don't need to listen to this.” Walker: “Not from you!”
2. Sydney points at Walker, who pinches his nose. Sydney: “You don't know how to forgive...” Sydney: “No... it's more than that...”
3. Walker jabs a finger at Sydney. Sydney: “You push away the people who are closest, so they can't hurt you.” Walker: “You think you know my world?” Walker shouts: “You're just a tourist!” Walker shouts: “What do you know?”
4. The front door slams. Walker: “I'm outta here.”
5. Sydney leans out of a window and shouts down at Walker in the street below. Sydney: “I know this.” Sydney: “If you don't go tonight, Rex may be done with you for good.” Sydney shouts: “That will be on you.”
6. Zak sidles up to Sydney. Zak: “Sooooo about that ticket...”
1. The theatre at night. People gather at the doors.
2. The stage manager leans round the dressing room door. Stage manager: “Fifteen minutes call 'till starting positions.” Stage manager: “Good lu--” Stage manager: “I mean... break a leg.”
3. Rex sits at the dressing room mirror. Abbie and Trent stand behind him. Abbie: “Close call! He almost jinxed the show.” Rex: “What do you mean?”
4. Abbie smiles. Abbie: “You never say 'good luck' on opening night. It's bad luck.” Abbie: “You say 'chookas' instead.” Rex: “There's so much I still don't know.”
5. Rex smiles at his reflection. Rex: “This world of yours seems so foreign, but I'm starting to understand it, I think.” Rex: “It was kind of exactly what my life needed.”
6. Rex turns to Abbie. Rex: “I've you to thank for that.”
1. Abbie watches Trent walk out of the dressing room. Abbie: “And Trent...” Abbie: “If he didn't challenge you to a karaoke-off, we never would have seen you.”
2. Trent pauses, eyes closed. Abbie: “The real you, I mean.” Trent: “It's still too soon.” Trent: “My D and G has never been the same.”
3. Rex winces. Rex: “I don't think it ever will be.” Trent whispers: “It was vintage...”
4. Abbie smiles at Rex in the dressing room. Abbie: “You're going to be great.”
5. Abbie, by the door. Abbie: “Rex...” Abbie: “I'm... proud of you.”
6. Rex, surprised.
7. Rex smiles.
1. Backstage, Rex in his pirate captain's coat passes dancers at the barre and an actor stretching. Dancer: “Chookas.” Rex: “Err... you too...” Actor: “Chookas.”
2. A stagehand pushes a ship prop. Rex waves. Stagehand: “Chookas.” Rex: “...Chookas...”
3. The lighting tech calls from the desk by the wings. Lighting tech: “Full audience tonight. Chookas!” Rex: “Chookas!”
4. Abbie, in a bonnet and pink dress, beside a nervous Rex. Abbie: “Just remember, don't be nervous.” Abbie: “You've done this a thousand times.” Rex: “But never to an audience.”
1. Abbie peeks through the curtain. Abbie: “Do you have friends here tonight?”
2. Zak and Sydney find their seats. Rex: “Yes...” Zak whispers: “Make way.”
3. Zak and Sydney sit in the audience. Rex: “All of my friends.”
4. Abbie hugs Rex. Abbie: “Chookas.” Rex: “What does that mean, 'chookas'?”
5. Abbie smiles. Abbie: “You know what? I have no idea...” Abbie: “See you out there.”
6. Rex lines up with the cast of pirates and ladies in the wings. Rex: “It's showtime.” Narration: “Fin--”
1. Epilogue. Snowy mountains and a frozen river. Narration: “Epilogue”
2. Reindeer graze among snow-covered trees.
3. A long red train winds along a river through the forest.
4. Inside the carriage, a passenger in a beanie gazes out of the window.
5. It's Walker, in a beanie, staring out at the snow.
1. The back cover. Abbie, the blond man sipping a martini, and Trent, arms folded. Narration: “When Rex finds himself in the rut of his life, there's only one logical thing to do. Be a jerk. To everyone! How's that working out for him? About as well as you'd expect, which is to say not very well at all! Who would have known that the thing he needed the most could be found in the most unlikely of places...”
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Clutching at Straws, Issue 3: Once upon a pirate

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Clutching at Straws, Issue 3: Once upon a pirate