Clutching at Straws

Issue 1: Poltergeist, panties & pie

  1. Cover. The cover. Zak, with spiky hair and a blue shirt, and a terrified old priest in a mitre face off over a glowing purple blob with yellow eyes. The title reads 'Clutching at Straws #1: Poltergeist, Panties & Pie, by Spencer, Abrahams and Angel'.
  2. Page 1. The title page. Rex, a brown-haired man in a black T-shirt, stands back to back with Sydney, a woman with purple hair holding a guitar.
  3. Page 2. In a living room, Zak throws his hands up in frustration. Walker, blond with glasses, sits on the couch with a game controller. Zak imagines his boss as a leprechaun, who kicks him in the backside with a giant boot. The leprechaun kicks Zak again as he cries, holding a notepad. Back in the living room, Walker reasons with Zak, who lies upside down on the couch. Zak, upside down on the couch, grins.
  4. Page 3. Zak and Walker sit on the couch. Zak scratches his head; Walker plays a video game. Walker leans in close to Zak. The next day at the office, Zak throws his paperwork at his bearded boss. His boss stands there, stunned. Zak grabs a potted plant from the desk.
  5. Page 4. Zak reads the job ads in the newspaper. Walker, out of view at the fridge, reassures him. Zak strokes his chin, newspaper in hand. Zak grins over the newspaper. Zak, now in a McDonald's uniform and headset, at the drive-through window.
  6. Page 5. Walker drinks from a can as someone shouts through the front door. The burly landlord bangs on the door. Walker knocks on Zak's door. Zak lets Walker into the dark apartment. Pitch black. Only Walker's eyes show as he cracks his shin on something. Pitch black, with Zak's eyes in the dark.
  7. Page 6. A suburban house with a 'Room 4 Rent' sign in the window. Inside, Walker fiddles with a Rubik's cube while Rex, brown haired in a black T-shirt, worries. Later, a shaman in a wolf-skin headdress and face paint points around the room. The shaman steeples his fingers. Rex shakes his head nervously. The shaman throws up his hands.
  8. Page 7. The city skyline at sunset. Rex walks down the street, hands in pockets. Rex folds his arms and pictures Zak. In a bar, a wild-haired old drunk raises his glass beside Rex. The old drunk throws his arm around Rex. Rex sips his drink in silence. The old drunk points to the sky.
  9. Page 8. The old drunk leans in conspiratorially. Rex laughs, now drunk himself. Sydney, a woman with purple hair in a striped top, sidles up to Rex at the bar. Sydney sips a milkshake. Rex frowns. Rex waves at the bartender as Sydney looks on. Rex face-plants on the bar. Sydney rolls her eyes.
  10. Page 9. Rex wakes up in bed, hungover, to the sound of someone singing in the kitchen. Sydney pours milk on a bowl of cereal at Rex's kitchen counter. Rex staggers in behind her. Rex sits down at the counter opposite Sydney. Rex pours himself cereal, puzzled. Rex gapes at Sydney, who smiles innocently.
  11. Page 10. Rex clutches his head as Sydney flings open the curtains. Sydney grabs Rex's arm and drags him out. Rex and Sydney, in sunglasses, walk down the street. Outside a café. Inside, Rex holds a coffee as Sydney stirs hers.
  12. Page 11. Meanwhile, on a train, Zak sleeps on a businessman's shoulder under a 'Smoking Kills' sign. Still asleep, Zak now leans on a grumpy old man. A conductor pokes Zak awake. Zak stands bewildered on a dark platform as the train speeds away. Zak, a tiny figure, wanders among tall city buildings at night. Looking down on the city towers from above.
  13. Page 12. Under a bridge, Zak warms his hands at a burning drum beside a wild-haired homeless man. The homeless man waves his arms in warning. Zak backs away quickly out of the underpass. Zak trudges down a rainy, deserted street. Zak, in silhouette, looks up at a lit shop front in the rain.
  14. Page 13. In the dim candle shop, Zak asks a creepy old man in a fez, sitting behind a candlelit book. Zak grumbles as he heads to the back. Zak talks on the phone. Behind him, the old man chokes and collapses. Zak pokes the old man, slumped face down on the book. Zak clutches his head in horror. Zak grins, picking something up from beside the body.
  15. Page 14. Zak leans over the old man's body. Zak props the corpse up. Zak frames the corpse with his fingers like a photographer. Inset: Zak strokes his chin. Zak bends the corpse's arm into a pose with a loud snap. Zak hugs the posed corpse.
  16. Page 15. Zak slumps at the counter by candlelight, bored. Thunder crashes. Zak throws up his hands. A soaked stranger in a trench coat comes in out of the rain. A purple ghost with yellow eyes whispers to Zak. In the back, the stranger picks up the phone. The stranger stands beside Zak at the counter. Zak and the stranger lean in close.
  17. Page 16. Zak holds up the corpse. The ghost hovers behind. Zak walks through the shop as the ghost floats after him. Zak bends to look behind the curtains. The ghost appears in full. Zak points and screams. Zak flees from the candle shop into the night.
  18. Page 17. Walker, carrying shopping, finds Zak sitting in his hallway. Zak lies on the floor among boxes, holding up his key. Walker stands over him. Zak sits on Walker's couch with a game controller. Walker throws up his hands. Zak shrugs. Walker points at Zak, who grins.
  19. Page 18. Rex, holding a plate, chats with Walker, who leans on the kitchen bench. Rex squirts sauce on his food. Walker rests his head on his hand. Flashback: Zak reassures Walker, as a voice yells from another room. Rex eats his sandwich. Walker sulks. Later at Walker's, Zak's friend in a purple shirt and glasses thrusts his hips with glee. Zak pumps his fist. Walker clutches his head in the background.
  20. Page 19. Zak runs a game of D+D at Walker's table with three friends. Walker looms over him. Stan wraps an arm around Walker, who seethes. Walker folds his arms. Zak looks up from his screen. Zak reads from behind his game master's screen. Walker sits down at the table, between Zak and Stan.
  21. Page 20. Zak narrates the game to the group. In the game: a raven transforms into a man in a burst of light. A purple-robed wizard shouts a spell, summoning rock, fire and wind elementals. Close up of Zak, dramatic.
  22. Page 21. In the game: a scarred barbarian charges, axe raised, with a dark elf and an archer behind him. The barbarian's axe chops into his own foot. A tree with a face looks down. The tree stomps on the barbarian, a silhouette against the sun. At the table, Zak tells his bald friend Dave his character is dead. Dave grumbles. In the game: the dark elf conjures glowing green energy. The dark elf lashes out with a whip of green light. A blast of energy strikes the wizard in silhouette. The wizard gasps, crackling with green energy. The wizard falls, twitching.
  23. Page 22. Walker grins over his winnings as Zak congratulates him. Dave, in green, is suspicious. Walker scratches his chin. Walker and Zak talk after the game. Walker sees the gamers out. Stan leaves with his trousers over his arm and his hairy legs bare. Dave shivers inside a cardboard box.
  24. Page 23. Walker looks through Zak's boxes of games. Walker realises something as Zak plays with a toy. Walker throws his arms wide. Zak stares blankly. Zak clutches his things protectively. Walker pokes him. Zak throws up his hands. Walker shrugs.
  25. Page 24. Walker, now in a red cap, and Zak step out of a lift. Walker raises a finger. Zak smirks. They walk down the street together. Zak remembers the ghost at the candle shop. Outside the candle shop, Walker eyes Zak suspiciously.
  26. Page 25. On the street, a man dressed as the Pope waves a bible beside a sign: 'Will baptise for money'. Zak approaches. Zak explains. The Pope smiles knowingly. The Pope thrusts his bible at Zak, who recoils. Zak backs away, hands up, as the Pope grins and pokes him. The Pope perks up, stroking his chin.
  27. Page 26. In the candle shop, the Pope readies holy water. The ghost hovers above. The Pope roars, fist raised. From behind, the Pope smashes bottles of holy water against the walls. The trapdoor in the floor begins to shake. Zak looks around in alarm as the rumbling continues. The Pope shrugs.
  28. Page 27. Zak looks around the quiet shop. The Pope looks uneasy. The Pope smiles. The Pope edges away, hand raised. Behind him, the dead shop owner stirs. Through the door, the Pope speeds away in a car. Zak throws his arms up happily. A green clawed hand pushes up the trapdoor in the floor with a growl.
  29. Page 28. Rex and Sydney, in sunglasses, walk through the city. Close up of Sydney, with Rex behind her. Rex shrugs. Sydney gives a thumbs up. Sydney lowers her sunglasses and points at Rex suspiciously. Close up of Rex grinning and Sydney raising an eyebrow.
  30. Page 29. Rex leans on his red car. Sydney stands on the other side. Close up of Sydney, with Rex behind her. Rex and Sydney walk up to the Cinematopia cinema. From behind, they look at a Harry Potter poster. They look at a King Kong poster.
  31. Page 30. In the cinema foyer, Rex hands Sydney some money. A blond usher with a quiff grins and points at Rex, who holds up his hands. At the candy bar, Sydney talks to a red-haired attendant. Rex talks to the usher. The candy girl leans in. Sydney looks alarmed. Sydney jabs a finger at the counter, fist raised.
  32. Page 31. Rex and Sydney sit stiffly side by side in the cinema with their popcorn and drinks. Rex shifts awkwardly in his seat. Rex agonises over the armrest as Sydney eats popcorn. Rex sweats. Sydney offers Rex the popcorn. Rex freezes.
  33. Page 32. Leaving the cinema, Sydney holds the empty popcorn box. Rex looks uncomfortable. Sydney points at Rex accusingly. Rex and Sydney blurt it out at the same time. They stare at each other. From behind, the two walk off together.
  34. Page 33. In a shop, Sydney tries on a hat. Rex waits nearby. Sydney, in a red cap, pays at the counter. Rex shrugs. Rex and Sydney, in silhouette, walk into an arcade. They pick up light guns at an arcade shooting game. Sydney and Rex aim their guns at the screen.
  35. Page 34. Rex and Sydney walk through a shopping centre with drinks. Sydney swings her arms enthusiastically as she talks. In a clothes shop with sale signs, Sydney holds up a top while Rex sips his drink. A memory: a woman (Monika) kisses a wide-eyed Rex on the cheek, while a little character that is Rex's confidence eggs him on. Rex sits on a bench as Sydney pulls a top on over her bra.
  36. Page 35. At sunset, Rex stands by his car as Sydney leans on it. Sydney talk, backed by a sunset sky. Close up of Rex, concerned. Close up of Sydney, caught off guard. Sydney looks away. Sydney shouts in frustration. Sydney scowls. Sydney grits her teeth. Sydney catches her breath. Sydney grins at Rex.
  37. Page 36. Rex drives Sydney through the city at night. Sydney gestures as she explains. Rex, driving, looks across at Sydney. The red car speeds through the night. Sydney grins and pumps her fist.
  38. Page 37. Back at Rex's house, Rex lays down the law. Sydney shrugs. Sydney flops onto the couch. Rex hands Sydney a drink. Rex leans forward on the couch. Rex rubs his head. Sydney makes an offer. Sydney sips her drink. Rex thinks it over, hand on chin. Rex points at Sydney.
  39. Page 38. Sydney cheers. Rex looks wary. Sydney leans on Rex's shoulder. Sydney drags Rex towards the door. Sydney peeks around a doorway at Rex. Rex pulls on black trousers as Sydney leans in the doorway.
  40. Page 39. Night. Sydney, now dressed in black, points out a house from the car. Sydney gives instructions. Rex glances over, suspicious. Parked under a streetlight, Rex argues with Sydney by the car. Sydney pulls a grappling launcher out of the boot. Sydney pulls on a black beanie and hands one to Rex. Rex opens his mouth to argue. Rex concedes.
  41. Page 40. A large dark house with a flagpole out front. Sydney aims the claw launcher. Rex watches. The launcher fires. The claw catches on the roof. The two crouch on the lawn, rope in hand. Looking up the rope as Sydney climbs above Rex.
  42. Page 41. Inside, Rex holds an apple from a bowl as something clicks. Sydney turns, alarmed. Sydney's burly dad sits bolt upright in bed as an alarm sounds. Sydney winces. Her dad, in boxer shorts, rushes a small boy holding a teddy bear down the hall. In Sydney's bedroom, she stuffs clothes into a bag as Rex grabs things.
  43. Page 42. Sydney climbs out of the window. Rex reaches after her. Rex panics as Sydney's dad appears in the doorway, a dark silhouette. A dart hits Sydney's dad in the neck. Sydney, holding a dart gun, stands over her unconscious dad with Rex. Rex and Sydney lean out of an upstairs window, high above the bushes.
  44. Page 43. Rex runs across the lawn with Sydney's bags, Sydney close behind. They throw the bags into Rex's car. The car screeches away down a dark road. A bright light floods the car. A helicopter with a searchlight hovers over the car.
  45. Page 44. Rex drives, a helicopter in the rear-view mirror. Sydney looks back. Rex grips the wheel. Rex changes gear. His foot slams the accelerator. The car races along the road, the helicopter close behind. Something drops from the helicopter. Spikes are fired at the road. A spike strip lands across the road ahead. Rex's eyes go wide. A tyre bursts. Rex and Sydney scream as the car skids out of control.
  46. Page 45. The car has stopped by the trees. Rex clutches his head; Sydney walks over. Sydney sees her dad's figure approaching through the trees. Masked, Rex and Sydney run through the dark woods. Sydney pushes Rex into a hollow log, then leaves. Sydney's dad grabs Rex in a headlock. A rope loops around the dad's ankle. Sydney swings down from a tree on the rope. The dad snatches the balaclava off Rex's head. The dad dangles upside down from a tree in Sydney's trap, pointing at Rex. Rex and Sydney run off through the woods.
  47. Page 46. The next day, Walker carries a box of miniatures. Zak strokes his chin. Outside the shop, Zak throws his arms wide. Inside the half-stocked shop, Walker turns to Zak. Walker mimes an outraged customer. Walker gives a sarcastic thumbs up. Zak grins.
  48. Page 47. Zak holds a coin on his thumb. Walker folds his arms. From above, the coin spins in the air between them. Medieval times: a knight stands by a catapult loaded with a cow, beside an old peasant. The catapult flings the cow into the sky. Dead cows lie scattered across a field below a castle.
  49. Page 48. Rex sits with an ice pack on his head. Sydney leans in beside him. Sydney shows Rex her freshly painted purple room. Sydney sits on the bed hugging her knees. Rex rubs his head. The roleplay begins.
  50. Page 49. Rex glares. Sydney lounges on the bed. Rex protests. Sydney insists. From above, Rex lies on the floor. Sydney sprawls on the bed. Sydney makes horns with her fingers. Rex lies on the floor. Sydney gestures.
  51. Page 50. Sydney, with a cap and a guitar case, heads for the door. Close up of Sydney. Sydney lectures Rex. Sydney waves as she walks off down the street with her guitar. Rex psyches himself up. A small caped superhero with an 'R' on his chest, Rex's Confidence, appears.
  52. Page 51. Rex grins on the phone. Behind him, his tiny caped Confidence sulks inside a glass jar. Rex lets Confidence out of the jar onto the table. Close up of Rex explaining. Rex beams. Confidence clings to Rex's shoulder, panicking. Confidence sprouts a scruffy beard. Confidence is now a bearded bum. Rex's huge eye stares. Rex smiles. Confidence swigs from a bottle in a paper bag.
  53. Page 52. Rex sits on the couch in silhouette. Confidence lounges on the floor with his bottle. Rex reads a note from Zak: 'Rex, I'm opening a store in downtown. Bring your bitch face along and hit on some hot chicks (PS you're a dick!) - Zak'. Confidence dives into Rex's head with a splash. Rex, in silhouette, on the phone. Inside Rex's mind, Confidence shuffles down a gallery of memories, past signs reading 'Temptations' and 'Defining moments'.
  54. Page 53. The next night, a huge crowd surrounds Zak's new shop. Rex and Monika, a red-haired woman, in the crowd. Zak, beaming, holds a tip jar full of money. Zak holds out the jar, deadpan. Rex protests. Monika looks on. Zak points at the stage, starry eyed. On stage, Sydney plays bass with her band. Rex shrugs. Monika is horrified. Zak gapes.

  55. The end of

    Clutching at Straws, Issue 1: Poltergeist, panties & pie

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