Clutching at Straws

Issue 0: The brotherhood of the travelling pants

  1. Cover. The cover. A hand reaches for the back pocket of a pair of blue jeans, where a photo-booth strip shows three men brawling. The pocket reads 'The Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants'. The title reads 'Clutching at Straws #0, by Spencer, Abrahams and H. Brown'.
  2. Page 1. The title page, black and white, with a sunburst behind the logo.
  3. Page 2. In a living room, three men play tug of war with a pair of jeans: a scowling guy in a hoodie, a bald man in glasses and a long-haired man. The three of them strain over the jeans in front of a window looking out over the city at night. Close up of hands gripping the jeans by the waistband.
  4. Page 3. A city street. A chubby man with spiky hair stands stark naked in the foreground, fist clenched, whistling. Behind him a businessman walks along talking on his phone. Close up of the businessman in a suit and striped tie, on the phone. Close up of the businessman's trousers and belt. The naked man stands on the street. A little boy looks up at him as the businessman passes.
  5. Page 4. The naked man, Zak, wails. The little boy cries. Zak rubs his head as the boy's mother covers her son's eyes and glares. Zak raises a fist to the sky like a superhero. Zak stays firmly on the ground. The businessman blinks at him. Zak, fist still raised, starts to realise. The businessman answers.
  6. Page 5. Flashback: Zak punches the businessman. Zak pulls the trousers off the knocked out businessman. Zak runs as a police officer chases him. Back in the present, Zak leans out of his ice-cream van to talk to a customer on the street. Steve, a bald man with a moustache, looks unimpressed. Zak hands over a box: the game 'Dungeons & Dominatrix'.
  7. Page 6. Police cars surround Zak's ice-cream van, sirens blaring. Zak punches a police officer through the van's serving window. Another officer draws his gun, shouting. An old man with a walking stick shuffles across the road, whistling. The van screeches past the old man, flinging the trousers out of the window. The old man stands with the trousers draped over his head, blinking. Zak drives the van away in a panic, police cars on either side.
  8. Page 7. The trousers smack into the face of a bald man in glasses. Police cars speed past the bus stop, sirens wailing, as the man stands holding the trousers. A woman in a convertible pulls up beside him.
  9. Page 8. Beyonce, wearing big hoop earrings, drives the convertible. Walker, in the passenger seat, listens. Walker's phone rings; the screen reads 'Work'. Walker answers the phone. The convertible drives off down the street.
  10. Page 9. Outside the Cinematopia cinema. Inside, a cinema attendant in a bow tie and braces leans on the counter, grinning at Beyonce. The attendant, Rex, steps out from behind the counter beside an unimpressed Beyonce.
  11. Page 10. Rex turns and bumps into Walker, spilling popcorn and soda down Walker's trousers. Walker glares, his jeans soaked. Rex holds up his hands. Beyonce looks on. A grim old man peers around a doorway, watching.
  12. Page 11. Rex pleads with Walker, who folds his arms. The old man stands in the doorway, glaring. Rex grabs Walker's arm as he tries to walk away. Walker throws his arms up in despair as Beyonce points at the trousers.
  13. Page 12. In the toilets, Rex washes the trousers in a sink. His boss walks in behind him, seen in the mirror. Rex freezes at the sink. His boss points at the soapy trousers, furious. Rex holds up the dripping trousers, aghast, as his boss jabs a finger at him.
  14. Page 13. In a bar, the businessman from earlier, now drunk and dishevelled, waves a finger at the bartender. The businessman pleads, slurring. He gulps from his glass. He gestures, spilling his drink. The businessman scowls into his drink. Behind him, Rex walks into the bar. Rex sits down beside him and raises a finger to order.
  15. Page 14. Drink 1. The businessman and Rex sit side by side at the bar. Drink 6. They clink their beer mugs, grinning. Drink 11. The businessman throws his arms in the air. Rex looks queasy. Drink 17. Rex, swigging his beer, chats up a woman at the bar. Drink 23. Rex dances on the bar as the crowd cheers and the businessman raises his mug.
  16. Page 15. In a jail cell, Zak sits naked and hairy, eyeing Rex, who wakes up groggy across the cell. Rex sits up on the cell bench, arms folded. Zak's hand pulls up Rex's sleeve to reveal an anarchy 'A' tattoo. Zak leers through the bars as Rex turns away, exasperated. Zak reaches through the bars and grabs Rex's leg. Rex scrambles away.
  17. Page 16. At the front desk, a moustached police officer hands Rex his belongings. Rex shakes Walker's hand gratefully. Walker frowns. Outside the police station, Rex goes through his things, finding a bundle of papers. Walker follows. Rex stares at an envelope in shock. Walker leans in.
  18. Page 17. Zak watches from behind, his spiky head in the foreground, as Rex and Walker argue outside the station. Rex waves the Vegas tickets excitedly. Walker folds his arms, unimpressed. Rex and Walker, small figures, walk off together down the road towards the city skyline. Zak glares out from behind the bars of his cell window.
  19. Page 18. A plane takes off. Rex and Walker collect their bags at the airport carousel. The 'Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada' sign. Walker throws his arms up in delight as donuts rain down on him. Rex lounges in a hot tub surrounded by glamorous women. A dark figure climbs a rope up the side of the hotel.
  20. Page 19. Rex and Walker sleep in their hotel beds, surrounded by donut boxes. The door creaks. A silhouetted figure slips in through the balcony door. The shadowy figure reaches for the jeans folded on a table. The light snaps on: a man in a hoodie is caught grabbing the jeans.
  21. Page 20. The opening scene again: Zak, in his hoodie, Walker and Rex in a tug of war over the jeans. The three of them pull at the jeans in front of the window. Walker yanks on the jeans as Zak hangs on. Rex grabs the phone in a panic as Zak lunges behind him. Rex stops, phone to his ear, looking alarmed.
  22. Page 21. Walker looks around warily. Behind him, Beyonce waves. Walker grins at Beyonce, who smiles back. Walker pleads with Rex, who lounges with a cigar. Rex sits with a woman draped over him, waving Walker away.
  23. Page 22. Walker opens the hotel room door, room 21. Walker tiptoes past Rex, asleep in bed with two women. Walker holds up the jeans, with their two patches. Close up: one of the patches peels off in Walker's fingers.
  24. Page 23. Walker brandishes the fake jeans. Rex wakes up bleary. Rex runs down the hotel corridor, pulling on a shirt, as Walker folds his arms. A huge sign: 'Poontasia presents: Dungeons & Dominatrix's ultimate roleplay championship. Winner gets life time subscription to Dungeon & Dominatrix Magazine and a date with D&D's sexy mascot “Poon Princess”'. Outside the venue, Walker throws up his hands. Rex folds his arms. Rex asks a grinning nerd in glasses and braces outside the venue.
  25. Page 24. The nerd clasps his hands excitedly. Rex scowls beside him. At a gaming table under the stars, Zak, wearing the jeans, is about to roll a die in front of the Poon Princess. Rex shakes his fist. Rex tackles Zak mid-roll. The twenty-sided die lands on a one. Zak and Rex wrestle over the jeans and the magical patches tear off. The torn patches burst into flame.
  26. Page 25. Rex and Zak weep over the smouldering patches as Walker and Beyonce look on. Walker leans in to kiss Beyonce, who stares back stony faced. Beyonce slaps Walker so hard his glasses fly off.

  27. The end of

    Clutching at Straws, Issue 0: The brotherhood of the travelling pants

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